House cooling?

I´ll have to begin this post by thanking Nik for making me feel guilty enough to actually attend this party in the first place, while he went off to Turku for the weekend... I owe you one, mate.

I was nervous about this party in the first place because the invitation included bringing a friend "because if you don´t the party will be very small". Hmm, how small? Like, just me and you kind of small? Oh crap.
This was the house warming of a girl I met randomly and felt obliged to invite to my housewarming. At my housewarming I discovered that she was basically socially inept, had no sense of humour and could not hold a conversation that wasn´t based around her life.
So, filled with trepidation I made my way to her apartment.

There were two other people there when I arrived and I was overjoyed. I sat on a chair and eagerly waited an opportunity to join in their virtually whispered conversation. And waited and waited and waited. Finally after 20 minutes of trying to look interested while admiring a one room flat, I decided to jump in without an invitation.
"So, you´re both nurses?" Oh, my wit! They nodded. Silence. Bugger.
"Are you originally from Helsinki?" I ask the obviously Finnish woman, hoping that (like everyone else that lives in Helsinki) she wasn´t.
"Yes." Silence. Bugger. They are now looking at me. I smile. They smile. Still no-one says anything.
"And where are you from?" I ask the obviously African man.
"Nigeria". Silence.
At this point I was considering getting totally blind drunk so at least I could enjoy a conversation with myself, but thankfully we managed to start a conversation about travelling. He had been to Iceland in January and was very well informed about the statistics of Iceland.
"The population is 300,000 and the 300,000th baby was born in 2004."
Silence from me as I consider this.
"So, you´re saying that out of a population of 300,000 people, no-one has been born for 2 years????"
He is totally emphatic about this. I am disbelieving... and for good reason. Here is some information about Iceland that I would assume is a little more accurate.
And whatsmore... did you know that in Iceland they have a "Dirty Weekend" every year? All the girls go out and have sex everywhere! It´s an official event!
After hearing this I had to ask who his source was.
"An Icelandic mother... so she should know."
Of course. Mother´s know everything.
Here is what I found out about Iceland´s "Dirty Weekend".

We finally sat down to dinner, but not after a digital slide show of the hostess´recent trip to Australia with full commentry.
"And that´s my Dad... and that´s our friend Shazza... and that´s a tree... and that´s a rock"
Dinner was nice and more importantly while we shovelled food into our faces no-one was able to talk. I tried to figure out how long after dinner I needed to sit there before it was deemed polite to leave.

Conversation soon began again. This time he was informing us all on his eating habits.
"I hate to wait for food to be prepared. If I´m hungry, I´ll eat anything, I don´t care. Just give me a bag of chips and ketchup."
I suggested he move to Sweden to take advantage of their dog food tube style packaging for easier eating.

I decided soon after dessert and two glasses of fairly appalling white wine, that I was all conversationed out and made my move to leave.

I caught the bus to Oulunkyla station, to discover it stops .5 of a kilometre away from the station and had to walk through a slushy park at 11pm.
However, I got home without any problem and sent a grateful text message to Nik.
She´s invited me over to make jaffles next... Let the good times roll!