Monday Morning...

The train sings as we gain momentum. A low chant like drone that dissipates as we speed toward Kirkkonummi.
So far the day wasn't showing much potential. Late trains, forgotten keys, death metal listening commuters... I briefly contemplate buying a ticket.

It's colder than I expected today. By the time I got to the station (for the second time) my damp hair was frozen solid in the -10 degrees celcius air.
Snowflakes were falling like tiny shards of broken mirror, sparkling in the air. I catch them and upon investigation discover their miniature perfection and I'm amazed by the futile beauty of nature.

As the train slides along the icy track, sparks from the electric cable above illuminate the dark morning. I savour my Sunday memories, hoping to prolong the weekend a little longer.

I close my eyes and I'm back skating on the frozen sea. The sun so warm I've discarded my coat and I'm squinting my eyes in the bright light. The soft white snow covering the bay like a table cloth, seemingly endless. It
s difficult to imagine the cool blue salty waves of summer.
Then I'm sitting outside that little cafe near the frozen beach. Huddled around an open fire, cup of tea warming my hands and the sun setting slowly behind me, creating a soft spotlight on my friends. They speak only in Finnish, leaving me to drift in and out of comprehension lazily. We consider the idea of toasting makkara, but instead we decide on korvapuusti instead. The cinnamon and cardammon infusing on my palate with the hint of fennel in my tea. I smile indulgently as I imagine licking sugary almond flakes from my fingers.

When I open my eyes we're past Espoo, almost there. The blue light of this winter's morning is cold and uninviting so I wrap myself up and pull my hat down as far as I can. I step off the train into the cold and another day has begun in Finland. And I'm happy.

Life´s little setbacks

In Australia you just fill in some forms and get them in on time to go to Uni. Sure, you´re high school marks are taken into account, but you generally only apply for courses you know you´ll get into.
But not here in Suomi.
No no no.
I had a vague idea when I applied for the psych course that I would have to do some kind of exam. BUT I didn´t realise that I had to read two books that cost a shit load of money and are unavailable at any library within a 100 km radius. And what´s more, there is only a maximum of two new international students accepted in any case. I don´t like those odds...
So I emailed a friend who pointed out that I´m not entirely sure I want to study anyway and so I should probably quit while I´m ahead (paraphrasing somewhat ... he never mentioned anything about me being ahead!)

On a more positive note, after my recent trip to Motivus Gym and my recent kindy gym classes (choreographed by yours truly), I´m considering a career as an aerobics instructor. I´ve always looked great in electric blue lycra and headbands...

The party post mortem

I had a housewarming party on the weekend. It´s always interesting introducing new friends and seeing how they react to one another. Sometimes very well, sometimes very badly. There were no fist fights at my party, but by the end of the night I had seen a new side to a couple of friends.
Of course, as soon as you involve alcohol, any seemingly innocent situation can become confusing and it´s always difficult to pick up on the messages people are sending (or not) when your vision is blurred.
Not that any of this happened to me! Oh no, I was a mere bystander. That´s my story anyway, and I take no reponsibility for anything.
According to one friend: I am like a vortex that sucks people in and spits them back out, somewhat confused, in a strange place with no recollection of how they got there. Well, he made it sound a little more complimentary than that, but that´s the general gist of it.
I was really unaware of my super powers. Maybe I can bottle them and sell them on EBAY?
But, it all seems to have sorted itself out and I still have friends... although apparently I should avoid dancing with them in future.

Did I mention I was going to Berlin?????

Taking the good with the bad...

So my computer is fucked, I have no back up files and no other way to play my music. BUT, despite that I´m still feeling pretty good. Computers are essentially just money and I refuse to stress about money. So no tears, no sleepless nights and no excessive consumption of alcohol... well, maybe the excessive consumption of alcohol, but not in relation to the computer.
I have a team of helpers coming to attempt to retrieve all they can tomorrow and then, well, we´ll see what happens.

Good news...

I´m going to Stockholm to see The Knife at the end of March. This is great for two reasons ... I get to go to Stockholm and I get to see a great band.

Having a housewarming party tomorrow. I`m quite surprised that it will be almost a whole different set of friends from the previous one. Not that I have lost and gained friends so quickly, but I happened to pick a weekend when almost EVERYONE was busy. But at least I don`t have to cook so much!

I am starting to go to the gym next week so I can be all toned and gorgeous for our trip to Berlin... in particular our visit to the tropical island in a shed. Must buy new bikini...


So all in all, I`m still optimistic and feeling good.

The world is ending...

At least that's how I feel right about now. My computer refuses to do it's little dance and turn itself on. I have tried turning it off and letting it sleep, after all winter does make you tired. But still nothing! I appreciate all suggestions and will accept any help. This is a general SOS to all of you computer freaks out there!
Save My Mac!

It took me two hours of waiting outside various co-ordinators doors numbing my mind with pulp fiction, but I did it. I applied for Uni again. Of course I still have to do an entrance exam and actually decide if I want to become a poor student again ... but at least I took the first step. So far I'm doing pretty well on my New Year's Resolutions...

Life's good at the moment. Not just for me, but it seems almost everyone I know is on the up (even if they feel like they're not). I'm so happy to be surrounded by awesome, supportive friends who don't diss me too much about my annoying regression to early 90s slang, dude. I have my internet back and although my computer and my phone keep having little seizures and dying on me, I'm still connected to the rest of the world ... however sporadically.

So, here's the latest:

I applied to study social psychology at Helsinki University ... now just need to do exam and convince them that I am actually the same person as written on my degree (it still has my old surname and of course I don't have any documentation stating that I've changed it ... maybe i can just refer them to an old website with my photo???)

I have moved (yet again) in with my lovely workmate H, who has a lovely big apartment with a WONDERFUL kitchen that I can't leave alone. I will probably gain 10 kilos in the next month just because I can't stop cooking!

Travelling Diva has returned from her travels and we are getting to know each other in real life (opposed from cyber life) and have discovered that we still love each other. She even let me cut her hair after drinking 1/2 bottle of wine!

I am still going to Finnish lessons and I am recognizing new words every day.

I feel inspired and loved and keep having moments of bliss that are totally unchemically influenced!

And I'm going to Berlin for Easter! I'm sooooo excited...

I've been talking and thinking a lot about relationships lately. A good friend who has been very unlucky in love has recently begun a new relationship that has the potential to be "IT". When I first heard the news I felt really odd. Kind of envious, kind of disappointed, but also elated for her. I was envious because she is so happy and can plan her life with someone. I still want this feeling and I miss saying "our tomatoes", not enough to accept any proposals though.
I felt disappointed because I was inspired by her strong independent singleness. She was supposed to be my partner in crime, but now she's going to be all in love. I know she won't dump me, but I still feel a little left out.
But I mainly felt happy because she was happy and I can see them happy together. And also because my first thought wasn't "I want a boyfriend" but "I'm still happy being on my own". I love being single. I know this sounds like a big feminist trip, but I'm not trying to convince myself. I can't imagine being in a relationship and feeling as happy and free as I do now.
I'm so glad that lots of my friends are in happy relationships and I wish them the best of luck, but I also hope that my friends who aren't will realise that it's not essential and you can feel like a full person without a partner.

I like the fact that here in Finland Valentine's Day is actually called Ystävänpäivä ... which translates as Friend's Day. A sentiment I much prefer at the moment.

Back on line

Wow. Two weeks off line and I now I feel like I've been reborn. How did I survive without the internet previously???
It was a hard couple of weeks: no blogging, no emailing, no checking the public transport routes or the weather... led to a couple of unfortunate occasions when I found myself waiting for hours at a bus stop in not nearly enough clothes!
But now I'm back. I would like to thank my saviour, Nik. You are owed way more than that lasagne (although it was pretty good lasagne if I do say so myself).
Of course now I have about a billion emails to read and reply to (yeah, I wish) so I won't write much today.
Although I'll just add that despite coughing up my lungs every other minute and my brain having turned to snotty mush, I am VERY happy at the moment. Life is good. Ro's back, my friends are healthy (except for poor Ben after his nasty bicycle fall), and it's only -5 degrees today.
Hope you are all happy wherever you may be!
More posts to come...