Those words that mean nothing.

Sometimes... often in fact, there are feelings you want to share that you just can't find words to express. Times like this make me realise how much I rely on words. I am a musician, an artist, a communicator and yet I still can't tell people how I feel.

I wish I could wrap them up in tissue paper and bubble wrap so that when life bounces them around they don't feel the jolts so badly. I wish I could hold them and stroke their heads, tell them everything was going to be alright and not be lying. Stick a tracking device to the soles of their feet so that they know they will never be alone, that someone will always be looking out for them, someone will always know where they are.
I wish I could do or say something to make it all better... but I can't and no-one else can either.

When you cry I can't help the tears dribbling down my cheeks.
I mimick the quietness of your sad voice without realising.
I don't want to ask questions, to intrude... I just want to know you're okay. Even though I know that you definitely are not.
So I guess I want to tell you that I know you're not okay and that's fine.

I will be here whenever you need me and even when you don't.

I'm Back in the Land Down Under.

So here I am.
Back in St Kilda.
Back in my box.
Am I happy? So far.

I miss Helsinki. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my lovely urban apartment. I miss being a couple of hours flight from the rest of Europe. I miss all the lactose free products.

But I love the sun here! I love the coffee. I love the cheap clothes. I love being near the rest of my family. I love the food.
I am happy. I feel like a foreigner in my own country though. Like that Sting song: "I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien".
I feel a little different now. But then maybe I always will. It's not a bad thing though.

So here I am.
Back home.